Hi Shah,
I generally liked this piece - thought it worked pretty well. I agree with
another comment that 'the anonymous' is too ambiguous, also that ' 'cause'
would be better as 'because'.
I thought the expression of 'as the sun was/to set in his eyes' was a little
awkward - might be able to be smoothed out.
Good work, IMO.
Cheers,
Frank
> Guest Lecture
>
> Lanky, fair, and clean-shaven,
> the anonymous occupied the guest room
> - once the old garage
> now converted for the purpose.
> He welcomed the sun before its rise,
> turning to east he folded his hands,
> made obeisance and murmured a hymn.
> The sun came to life only after his call
> - energized by the confidence he instilled.
> In the evening-lecture as the sun was
> to set in his eyes, the guest pointed out:
> You are not in the universe,
> the universe is within you.
> The sun borrows light from you,
> and shines 'cause you want him to.
> I did not understand, but could surmise.
> He showed me a way to tell the prayer.
> --
>
> c s shah
>
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