In a message dated 04.23.03 10:07:52 AM, [log in to unmask] writes:
<< till I found clear
the shape of a beast I could not control,
rising to devour me. >>
Interesting poem that makes one think at the end. Part of me wants to
revolutionize your verse and make unusual line/stanza breaks which might
evoke the undertones of the poem, such as:
that matched the discretion of cutlery,
the mildness of flowers in a vase.
I listened and joined in from time to time,
unaware of another dialogue uncovered,
I like:
a deeper bonding of bone
Now this feels deep!
kol tuv, Ryfkah
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