Hi Christina,
Yeh, I actually read this as being in the present day - and related it to
some UK city! (Then I read one of your responses and thought, "doh!").
Maybe if the title did some work, giving some hint and when and where then
poem may not need much else doing. It's somewhere to start...
Bob






>From: Christina Fletcher <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: New sub: Peeling (first draft) (Bob & Ryfkah)
>Date: Sun, 20 Apr 2003 04:19:43 EDT
>
>Yes, I'd hoped the bikini would bring the song to mind, Bob. I reckon
>'awesome' will have go: too twenty first century.  It's not about today:
>it's
>the pre-suntan lotion consciousness days of my youth (and yours, guv':-) )
>Think I'll have to do more work on this - can't have Carl seeing gannets
>instead of girls. Thanks very much for reading and the generous comments.
>Ryf' - many thanks to you too.
>bw
>christina
>
>
> > Hi Christina,
> > I think this poem's caught it! Fine images! (Oh, it starts with the
> > transparent clutch bag... and that they don't always see what they
>show...
> > and it goes on!). I've lived with people who've been through all this
>(went
> > through it myself, lad-like and years ago - I seem to hazily recall).
> > And young youths today with pickled onions!!! Wow!
> > My only thought... I found myself humming "Eeny-meeny, teenie-weeny,
>yellow
> > polka dot bikini" on the bus this chilly afternoon. Are polka dots in
>again?
> > Is it just me that has a memory that clicks onto such phrases?
> > Bob
>
>


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