CS, interesting, but a couple of thoughts.
The sand was dirty, dry and brown
as the sea had receded away
in fear of 'reclamation drive'.
**I wonder at the sea being personified, perhaps "as if"
A little girl, carried her brother, (carried by?)
and touched her sari - (no and, but also some confusion as to whose sari was
touched.
a gesture for a bread or a penny. (bread or penny)
She withdrew in disgust and said: (drop and said and but the last lines in
italics)
Ahead of the sun, the place shows
signs of setting of a civilization.
Good luck.
Gary
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