Hi Colin,
Very Bauldelaire-ish! All the hints at the grandeur of the big-bird image I
guess.
I wondered, when you got to the stanza that begins with fish, if it were
needed? I know you're making a contrast but... it could also be that some of
the things you've already said about them may also be giving too much.
Why do I say this? Cos the poem's called Albatrosses (not Albatrosses &
Fish). For the bird they look down, something clicks and signifies "Food,"
and splash - they're in, bite, and flap they're out!
And cheekily (cos I'm feeling that way at the moment) how would the poem be
different if it were called "gannet" or "shag"? (Maybe shag would make me
smile too much... Black Shag, perhaps?). Albatrosses bring things to poems
cos they've been there before. There aren't as many gannets or black shags
laying claim to a bibliography tho...
And what jetsom could get netted in an adjective/adverb trawl!
Bob






>From: Colin dewar <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: newsub/albatrosses
>Date: Fri, 18 Apr 2003 20:58:03 +0100
>
>Albatrosses
>
>White wings reach to the wave's face,
>turn to themselves in momentary mirrors,
>never touch but know the wave with wing tips.
>Such birds sever air
>with a raucous cry,
>with a scimitar beak,
>feel the geometry of wind
>as it turns from liquid slope,
>seek whatever sustains
>with eyes that never sleep.
>
>They fold and fall to the deep,
>for breath after breath are gone from view,
>search amid shadows of the sea,
>where other hunters prowl
>with restless hunger.
>Fish in muscular shoals
>run to what destiny awaits them,
>know their own version of the falling light,
>the cavernous vaults of waves,
>and scatter
>as the plunging bird
>bursts through the glass wall.
>
>Fish in steel-cold streams
>apprehend all with the eye that never wakes,
>feel with their skin wave's flux,
>currents that stir the ocean's face,
>swim with shark and whale,
>with the bowel propulsion of squid,
>the jellyfish with blank mouths
>and ghostly limbs.
>
>Seized by bird's beak
>the unwitting is brought towards light,
>with the swiftness of thought
>a sliver of silver pulled into blue,
>the thin air uplifting fragile wings.
>
>
>
>
>___________________________
>
>Colin


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