Hi Grasshopper,
I can go with Christina and Carl's comments about this... slight nit-picks
but good 'uns. I find, tho, I'm wanting more! It's not that the poem isn't
complete but I feel I want something else and then I'll feel satisfied.
Maybe the title could carry a bit more with a couple of extra words...
Perhaps I want to know where he is, what he's doing while he's talking, if
he's grinning or got-a-straight-face, I dunno...
Or maybe I like the guy enough I want another poem as well as this one.
Bob
>From: grasshopper <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: New sub: Black Britain
>Date: Wed, 16 Apr 2003 02:17:49 +0100
>
> Black Britain
>
>
>Seventy percent of the clothes here
>are black, he says.
>
>Do not wear black,
>he says, your eyes breathe it in.
>It poisons joy.
>
>Black gives you the blues and blues
>endue black feelings.
>He wraps himself in gold and orange.
>
>On Mondays,
>Moondays,
>he wears grey and silver,
>
>but never black.
>
> grasshopper
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