As I mentioned I'm a newcomer, and I hope I'm doing this correctly. It
seems one replies and offers comment! So here goes.
The title is too much of a joke, perhaps.
S1.1: I recommend removing "re" to have the accounts surface instead of
resurface. When they resurface, the reader must wonder if he's missed
something. Unfortunately, the collapsed economy is not likely to surface,
but to resurface, to the extent that it will surface. Perhaps "arise"
instead of "surface" will help the concept.
S1.3: The strophe gives the impression of incompleteness, which may be
desirable. However, the other three do not give this impression. The
incompleteness stems from "as" and the absence of a verb after it. You
could use "like" here, but I think you mean to preserve the connections
among financial references.
S2 might be more interesting if the prize is owing to, rather than
generating, a twisted psyche.
S3 doesn't make particular sense. The 'twisting' in the other strophes
is all reasonably logical.
S4 uses "twist" twice. It might be more interesting to intimate the
twisting of facts and let the reader infer it.
Erratically, the poem seem to use truncated language. S1.3 feels
incomplete, S2.3 seems to lack an article, S3 does not lack any articles,
and S4 seems to lack a "that".
Carl
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Tongue Twisters
Twisted accounts resurface / after a lapse of time / as collapsed
economies.
An ironic end to the story / won her a literary prize / at the cost of
twisted psyche.
Since she twisted her hair / in serpentine pleats / flirts have taken to
their heels.
Don't twist my wrist / with the ease / historians twist the facts.
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