Hi Frank,
You've a fine way with this voice. I like the flow of it... and I like the
way, after I've finished reading, I can "see" this guy moving (because I've
been able to hear him speaking, I guess).
I don't know about the "translation" additions. I can accept them as part of
the poem, but I could also accept them as footnotes. I read them as part of
the monologue, though. I think I've heard people say things in one language
- and then immediately offer a translation before they carry on speaking.
Thanks for the read (and if you read it on the day - I guess it'll go down
even better there than it's gone down here!)
Bob






>From: Frank Faust <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: sub - you have dancing?
>Date: Sun, 13 Apr 2003 21:04:59 +1000
>
>While I'm on the job here, so to speak, I might sub this to the list. It's
>another of my advisory ethnic's appearances. In this case, I have a wedding
>to MC (being that of one Jamie and one Andrea). My man caught hold of me
>today and whispered a few thoughts in my ear, so I penned this. I may read
>it at the wedding, and would be grateful if any obvious (or not so obvious)
>weaknesses could be brought to attention.
>
>Cheers,
>
>Frank
>
>~~~~~~~~~~
>you have dancing?
>
>for the wedding of Jamesi and Endrea
>
>So, Frenki,
>you putting on you suit?
>What for?
>Who is died?
>
>Oh,
>is for vjen"canje - the wedding.
>Who is lucky person what is for marriage?
>Jamesi? But he is just boy!
>When he grow so big, huh?
>
>He is working now? Aha,
>that is long time already.
>General Motors? Mmm, hmm,
>this is very big job,
>he is important man.
>Probably for Jamesi, married is good thing.
>Important man needs good woman,
>for to be wife and broj jedan friend.
>The number one, you know?
>Oh, yes.
>
>So.
>Who he to marry?
>Endrea?
>She is nice girl? What she look?
>Ah, plava kosa
>the beautiful blondi, huh? He
>was always boy who know
>what is best koli"cina - the top quality.
>She must be very excellent woman.
>Is nice.
>
>Eh, what they have at wedding, after him say and she say?
>When I was mlad "covjek -
>the young man - in my village
>for  vjen"canje we have svatovski kruscavac for the girls -
>is like the pear liqueur - very sweet.
>And is slivovica and rakiya for men drinking,
>- very strong, very good.
>We have singing, and we go little bit talking beautiful
>with the cure - the girls,
>and we dancing the kolo on floor and on tables.
>We do him everywhere.
>I was very good dancer them days.
>
>I still good, you know.
>
>Does Jamesi i Endrea having the dancing?
>
>Ok.
>You wait minute jedan.
>I am coming. I show you and Jamesi boy
>what way is good to dance.
>
>~
>
>Frank


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