You are still pretty much telling. See below
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A Fall at Mall Swish, slide, and down,
bam, she went flying
one way went her foot
another went the peel.
Like a spider on stilts,
she rose, rubbed her
hip,
straightened a dress
twisted
red as her face.
In her hurry
the lady slipped Apples from her bag rolled
away
to be smashed flat
amongst eggs.
An artist saw a
painting on concrete.
then end with the
reactions, but show!
over a banana skin
and bruised her hip.
The fall disturbed
her poise and dress,
as pain and blush
coloured her face.
An apple rolled over the lane
and met its end under a car;
an egg spilled its yolk around
and a painter scrutinized
the resultant colour combine.
Amongst other onlookers:
a lady noted the make of
perfume the lady preferred;
a man rushed with
a glassful of water,
panicky spinster
shouted for a doctor,
but a boy could not
suppress his laughter.
A small crowd gathered around.
A gentleman was curious to know:
who broke the civic rule?
The lady in picture
adjusted her skirt
and accepted her fault,
murmured:
I shouldn't have
eaten banana here.
--
c s shah >> To really show and not tell takes some practice.
What I have substituted is not all that successful but it ismore in line
with the idea of showing. Hope this helps. Sue
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