Hi Colin,
Like with yr poem where you put fools gold in yr pockets I like the
atmosphere you're reaching - but wonder about the phrases that have an "of"
in them (heads of grass and hooves of cows are the two that seem so awkward
to me... the other's "might" be alright!).
I'm also not able to read the first line properly - unless you really mean
something to slightingly say "we're nutters!" (i.e. we're "round the
bend!").
And, again, even though this could be anywhere in the hills, I'm wanting a
place, a name!
Bob
P.S. Have you come across Hamish Brown's antholology "Speak To The Hills"
(Aberdeen University Press - 1985? You'd enjoy it!
>From: Colin dewar <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: newsub/dissolution
>Date: Wed, 2 Apr 2003 19:00:03 +0100
>
>Dissolution
>
>Around the bend
>a house that we enter,
>wary of rafter and falling floor.
>Vandals came before,
>staved in the sides of a rusted kettle
>and defaced the wall.
>
>Heads of grass dance on the bright sill,
>overlooking what was once a beautiful view
>on an afternoon like this.
>Watery moors shine through
>and unshackled clouds cruise overhead.
>This house is returning to the unhuman,
>into the pit of the earth,
>ground under the hooves of cows,
>washed into the beds of clear streams.
>
>
>
> Colin
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