Hello Christina,
There are a couple of words here that I would question. In line 1 `scoursī seems an unnecessarily dramatic word for cleaning a shaving bowl. `Wades through pissī seems overstated, too, although I do rather like to imagine the yellow liquid being waist deep. But I guess that wasnīt your intention ;-)
Best wishes, Mike
John
Someone scours filthy bowls of scum and razored stubble.
Someone makes the bed, lays out your clothes, remembers
words you can't recall.
Someone - you'd like to catch his name,
although he knows you can't - wades through piss
and disinfects the floor,
brings acid drops to cheer you up.
He tells you you're a doddle, sings-along-a-Max,
knows the plot you missed: Kat's away,
Pat moved in with Barry. He wipes his feet
before he washes yours and clips your horny toenails.
Sometimes, you think that he's your son and call him 'John'.
christina fletcher
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