Hello Grasshopper,
                  Following on from your comment here:


Actually, I've made the last line stronger. On another list,someone asked
'would the narrator really say Please? and he wouldn't, would he? So I'm
afraid I end up with yet another sonnet with an expletive in the last line.
(I'm a bit worried about this trend) It becomes:
'First drop my f***ing stomach off in Hell.'
Asterisks will be dropped in the poem, of course.
Thanks again for reading and commenting
Kind regards,
     grasshopper

I´m not myself so sure that the word `please´ has to be a problem. Having said that I´m also, as you have perhaps noticed, a great fan of the much-abused yet at the same time much-loved F-word. I would certainly be the first to offer my congratulations to any poet who dropped this wonderful combination of letters plumb into the middle of their final line. But seriously, my feeling is that arguments over what the narrator would `really´ say are redundant. The narrator would not `really´ be lifted up by an angel, their stomach would not `really´ be dropped off in Hell or anywhere else. The tone of the line with `please´ included is, for me, a combination of resigned, sarcastic, long-suffering...something along those lines. Don´t people often use `please´ in that way? `Oh please´, as in `give me a break for Christ´s sake´. That´s how I read it. What do you think?
Incidentally, please don´t worry about the expletive trend - it´s well under control.



Best wishse,    Mike




----- Original Message -----
From: "Mike Horwood" <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Wednesday, April 02, 2003 9:07 AM
Subject: Re: [THE-WORKS] New sub: Gut Reaction


Hello Grasshopper,
                  This seems to me to be very skilfully done. There´s
nothing that I would suggest changing here.
Best wishes,   Mike

--- Alkuperäinen viesti ---
                       Gut Reaction


Red in the bowl again, bright shocking spots,
beads strung with spittle, ruby mixed with jet.
Say it's tomato, peppers - there are lots
of explanations for those blobs. Don't sweat.
Just wipe your mouth and fill a steady glass.
The cold tap foams. The water chills your tongue
and shocks your teeth. Grip this new day. Hold fast.
Remember how you felt once, fit and young
before this aged you, greyed your face and bowed
you down, an acolyte of pain, to retch
and spew. For now, no grumbling is allowed.
Stiff upper lip. Don't wimp or whinge. Don't kvetch.
Wait till the angels lift you up, then yell
'Please drop my bloody stomach off in Hell.'

                                           grasshopper