Hi Shah,
This poem is telling me things! I sort of read it patiently waiting for the
poetry to take over. It almost does with the horse and cart... But then the
facts start interrupting again. Maybe... if I felt that I was hearing a
teacher explaining things - that this was a teacher's voice - I might find
it easier to feel it was a poem...
But, even if I could sense that I was being told things for some reason
other than the fact that I may not yet know them, I feel that the last
stanza feels as if the poet is even further from the subject... and the
reader, therefore, (who's being kept away from the subject by the tone of
the voice) is IMO even more distant again...
I know it's a very complex subject - and the similie of the horse and rusty
cart may be a touch of genius - but I'm not finding it easy to make much
sense of what's going on... maybe because the stanza that's making a
statement (the penultimate one) is introducing issues a friend of mine
(who's studied some genetics) can't connect in with the horse and cart
either.
I feel that a poet should have all ranges of language available to him or
her - but I'm not sure I'm following where your horse and rusty cart are
leading me here!
Could you maybe include what this poem's saying within a narrative? Or could
you play with more similies? Make all the facts as entertaining as the horse
and rusty cart?
Bob






>From: c s shah <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Complex Genome
>Date: Mon, 31 Mar 2003 16:43:53 +0530
>
>The Complex Genome
>
>The gene is embedded in chromosome
>and is to report from the battle of life.
>It is programmed to send messages
>from one field - its demarcated locale.
>
>Like an old-fashioned horse of a rusty cart
>its eyes are shielded by symmetrical flaps,
>lest it should confuse scenes of two sites.
>
>The gene sends reports and summaries
>that so often contradict ground reality.
>It is reprimanded  by common folk
>but the general is always pleased, and
>pats the gene for its unflinching loyalty.
>
>The scientists have mapped the genome
>but they refuse to root out the anomaly
>- a reverse scripting messenger RNA.
>
>Nature takes its own time to correct
>selfish tendency in a genetic structure,
>and conscious efforts of a few fellows
>end in Patriotic and Fidayeen crossfire.
>~
>
>c s shah


_________________________________________________________________
Express yourself with cool emoticons http://www.msn.co.uk/messenger