Hi Grasshopper,
Like others I find the (unknown to me when I first read it) "kvetch" didn't
settle to well alongside the rest of the words you use. I guess, if you
wanted, "spew" and "retch" may be swopped around and another rhyme word
found... Or is it that you didn't do that initially because you wondered if
"spew" may produce a rhyme that was too easily guessed before it happened.
I like poems that work their mischief like this! Strict form and surprising
content! And the way the phrase "a steady hand" balances itself - the person
and the experience - against all that's happened before.
Bob
(who was told last night that there's more chance of being ill after
drinking coloured alcoholic drinks - red and not white wine for instance! -
but isn't convinced... and is waiting until a pay-cheque arrives to test the
theory!)





>From: grasshopper <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: New sub: Gut Reaction
>Date: Tue, 1 Apr 2003 19:00:37 +0100
>
>                        Gut Reaction
>
>
>Red in the bowl again, bright shocking spots,
>beads strung with spittle, ruby mixed with jet.
>Say it's tomato, peppers - there are lots
>of explanations for those blobs. Don't sweat.
>Just wipe your mouth and fill a steady glass.
>The cold tap foams. The water chills your tongue
>and shocks your teeth. Grip this new day. Hold fast.
>Remember how you felt once, fit and young
>before this aged you, greyed your face and bowed
>you down, an acolyte of pain, to retch
>and spew. For now, no grumbling is allowed.
>Stiff upper lip. Don't wimp or whinge. Don't kvetch.
>Wait till the angels lift you up, then yell
>'Please drop my bloody stomach off in Hell.'
>
>                                            grasshopper


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