Hi Frank,
An extra thought about the ending...
Cos shoes are really interesting in describing relationships,
maybe cos (even in nursery rhymes) they've got sexual connotations (there
was an old woman who lived in a shoe - who... etc)
and with tongues and eyes they need to borrow language used to describe
people
and they're made of skin...
such connections may set your imagination off...
Bob
>From: Frank Faust <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: sub - a shoe of frustration - Bob
>Date: Wed, 2 Apr 2003 21:33:06 +1000
>
>I agree Bob. It just doesn't end well. Have made some changes, but still
>unhappy. Oh well - next!!
>
>Cheers, and thanks,
>
>Frank
>
> > Hi Frank,
> > The last 4 lines don't seem to work. I guess I'd like to see something
>as
> > sparsely written as what I've read before in the poem.
> > Seeing a relationship in terms of people's shoes, and how/where they
>walk
> > while wearing them, is a canny perspective! Very personal things
>shoes...
> > (I guess lovey-dovey folk wear flip-flops!)
> > Bob
_________________________________________________________________
Overloaded with spam? With MSN 8, you can filter it out
http://join.msn.com/?page=features/junkmail&pgmarket=en-gb&XAPID=32&DI=1059
|