OK Mike, I'll have a go!
Trish
----- Original Message -----
From: "Mike Horwood" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Monday, March 31, 2003 7:41 AM
Subject: Re: Rework: For Bob, Mike & Others- Fencing-In
Hello Trish,
You´ve certainly made it clearer what is happening in the poem
but, like you, I feel that it doesn´t read so fluently. I wonder if you
could have an introductory stanza where you indicate that this is a
photographing trip and then retain the original text i.e. without the
insertion of the photography phrases. That´s just an idea. Sorry I can´t be
more helpful. I´ve thought about it a bit and I must say that I don´t myself
quite see the most effective way to handle this.
Best wishes, Mike
--- Alkuperäinen viesti ---
Well, I've made some changes. It all seems verybstrange. Let me know what
you think.Am I heading in the right direction?
Thanks,
Trish
FENCING-IN: THE PHOTOGRAPHS
At the press of a button
we go
shuffling
on the muddy banks.
In the wet spinney
Take a view
between
the black
chesnut poles.
By the
cut and dry
paling
name a
couple of fields.
Fence in
with a sharp click
hours and weeks
of de-
composing
leaves.
Step out
on tarmac
taking a branch
inside the small black box.
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