CS, in general they work. I would drop the * and look at punc and (no comma
L3 of S2) and use of articles (a cloudburst). But I would like to see it
come back to the bird as you did the lady.
Thanks.
Gary
IF MY MAIL BOUNCES, MAIL [log in to unmask] AS AN ALTERNATIVE.....March
Margaret Hodge and Gary poems for kids at:
http://gardawg.homestead.com/gardawg.html --- Writer's Hood at
http://www.writershood.com/..... Poets for Peace.... ˇPoemas sí, balas no!
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