Helo Ann,
Thanks for your feedback. I´ve used a speaking voice in the poem that could be, for instance, a military spokesperson giving information at a press conference, hence the spoken style, but I´ll have a look at the effect of cutting out some words that might be superfluous.
Best wishes, Mike
--- Alkuperäinen viesti ---
In a message dated 27/03/2003 11:29:27 GMT Standard Time,
[log in to unmask] writes:
Dear Mike,
sarcasm, put to good use here, quietly barbed with the message coming
through loud and clear. If it were me I should take out as many unneccesary
words as possible to sharpen it even further
regards Ann
> Foreign Aid
>
> ...And in these pictures we see local troops
> who will fight beside our own
> against the common enemy, our
> and theirs.
>
> You will notice their uniforms are new,
> suplied by us. The design is simple,
> their construction too, but you should have seen
> what they wore before.
>
> They carry their own equipment,
> mainly weapons of somewhat antiquated make
> but in good working order. I´d like
> to emphasise that.
>
> For some weeks now, these soldiers have been trained
> by us in special camps. We´ve given them the basic skills,
> nothing hi-tech, you understand, just enough to make
> a fighting force.
>
> Being native these men have knowledge, vital to us
> of the local terrain and conditions.
> I should add, they sustain casualties at a somewhat
> higher rate.
>
>
>
> Mike
>
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