James, here
The sun still reflects off water
where driftwood lays near the waterline
or sticks out from the river
that looks like it might have slowed
with an illusion that it has stopped;
though I know this will not happen.
the poem does not work for me. I think L2 through 6 need rewrite, and am
not sure that l3 needed at all. And here
I ponder other fears and illusions, constant change
and permanency, though the current
still flows, water birds bob,
wonder if you do not repeat what has gone before. Regardless, I would break
at illusions and permanency.
Gary
IF MY MAIL BOUNCES, MAIL [log in to unmask] AS AN ALTERNATIVE.....March
Margaret Hodge and Gary poems for kids at:
http://gardawg.homestead.com/gardawg.html --- Writer's Hood at
http://www.writershood.com/..... Poets for Peace.... ˇPoemas sí, balas no!
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