Thanks Bob your much appreciated clarity on work in progress is always
helpful. I never post finished work, so, yes, the stuff can seem cack
handed. This one has since gone through a couple of more drafts with a
little help from my friends here. I tend to over write then trim. How these
ingredients got together is simply the result of them all being present as I
wrote at the actual location where I was parked.My job is peripatetic so
allows for things like this to happens while you eat your sandwiches and sup
some tea from a flask and just let the resonance happen. I can visualise you
now I've seen your mug shot on the Arrowhead website.



bw
James





>From: Bob Cooper <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: New sub: Crossroads
>Date: Thu, 9 Jan 2003 17:10:33 +0000
>
>Hi James,
>Sorry but I think this is still a sort of baby of a poem. It's got
>feelings,
>it's moving, it's got a life - but I sort of feel it's not yet walking too
>strongly, or saying things too clearly.
>I'd be tempted to try it in the first person voice (which might sharpen up
>a
>few of the things), and then the third person voice (which will probably
>cut
>a lot of things out - including some of the thing's you've reworked!) and
>think that less is more, and maybe aim for the playful clarity of Motzart
>or
>the urgent notes of the bird!
>Linking a bluetit, Motzart, driving a car, and the millenium is an
>amazingly
>exciting prospect. I hope the baby grows!
>Bob
>
>
>
>
>
>
>>From: James Bell <[log in to unmask]>
>>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>>To: [log in to unmask]
>>Subject: New sub: Crossroads
>>Date: Sat, 4 Jan 2003 11:46:14 +0000
>>
>>My first this year. Could be my last. Who knows? It not in a final form so
>>comments are welcome. Text format is difficult to form into something more
>>concrete (no reference to a certain type of poetry intended).
>>
>>CROSSROADS
>>
>>A blue tit heard the flute pitch
>>            through windscreen glass
>>as you watched each other listen over the ditch,
>>     a chasm each instinct of the other said
>>could not be crossed.
>>            You do not care for darkness
>>and your eyes swallow whole
>>        the antics of the small bird outside
>>as he brightens up your day
>>         in the brief midday sunlight
>>as both respond in different ways
>>         to the Mozart concerto being played on Classic FM
>>
>>It crosses your mind that as the
>>twenty-first century gets underway
>>how poetry from the last
>>is still being assessed -
>>
>>                it crosses your mind in the same way
>>as the flute crosses the mind
>>          of your little buddy the blue tit
>>who assessed Mozart in an instant
>>         though between the three
>>only Mozart's combination of notes
>>         are the constants here - for
>>your mind flits free like the bird
>>         that soon disappears and leaves
>>you with your thoughts as they
>>        appear at the crossroads you sit near
>>
>>
>>
>>bw
>>James
>>
>>
>>
>>
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