Grassy,
Wow, thanks for filling me in. You'll be building up a whole body next. On
with the truncated mirror cinquains..
Best Wishes,
Colin
----- Original Message -----
From: "grasshopper" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Wednesday, March 26, 2003 10:45 PM
Subject: Re: the New sub Castle -the Bum
> Dear Colin,
> Actually, if you can ignore the name, there is a serious purpose
behind
> this form. If you look at the shape, it's rather like a truncated mirror
> cinquain. However, I have seen very few cinquains that make the most of
the
> form (the final 2 syllables should snap, not fizzle), and the mirror
> cinquain often seems a double damp squib too. What it needs is more
> discipline, and the strict rhyme gives the form a backbone, I feel.
> Having two separate strophes that are not obviously connected, yet
linked
> by the rhyme, I think gives an opportunity to explore subtle connections
> between them.
> Kind regards.
> grasshopper
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Colin dewar" <[log in to unmask]>
> Sent: Wednesday, March 26, 2003 12:43 PM
> Subject: Re: [THE-WORKS] the New sub Castle -the Bum
>
>
> > Grassy,
> >
> > It couldn't be more obvious that you are taking the satire and yet I
can't
> > help admiring the compression of images and ideas in the second stanza.
> > Muffle that lion!
> >
> > Who said it would be easy, turning the other cheek?
> >
> > Colin
> >
> >
> > ----- Original Message -----
> > From: "grasshopper" <[log in to unmask]>
> > To: <[log in to unmask]>
> > Sent: Tuesday, March 25, 2003 1:52 PM
> > Subject: the New sub Castle -the Bum
> >
> >
> > > Trying plain text, not not sure it formatting will hold........
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > the keep,
> > > a curved stone tooth,
> > > juts below a scumbled sweep
> > > of oyster-grey and pearly blue.
> > >
> > > Thunder shakes the eastern view
> > > and wakes old lions from sleep.
> > > In war, all truth
> > > lies deep.
> > >
> > >
> > > grasshopper
> > >
> > >
> >
>
>
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