Hello Colin,
I like this one a lot. I like the rhythm of the lines - lilting and dreamy - and the sound of words and combinations of words e.g. `sound of the surf´, `crests of cliffs´, `flanks of fields´. It´s all very idyllic and romantic.....quite unlike real life. And here´s the rub, the `changeless blue´ in the final line is a fantasy. The sky over Eigg may be grey, `summer´s light´ doesn´t last for ever. Of course, the way round this is to use these phrases ironically. So here´s a suggestion. Why not title the poem `A Romantic´? That would then mean that your poem is `spoken´ by a narrator with this romantic perception of the scene/life and you, the poet, and we, the readers, would be sitting back and taking an objective view.
Best wishes, Mike
--- Alkuperäinen viesti ---
Give me the Isle
Give me the isle
of the celandined turf
and the silvered shore
where the cattle come
to dip their feet
in the pure cool surf
and the gulls alight
on the ebbing sand,
where the sound of the surf
can be heard for miles
on the crests of cliffs,
from the flanks of fields
and I would live there
if I had my way
and write my songs
in the lea of the cliffs
with the wind blowing over,
and the clouds overhead.
Till singing was done
I would live there
in summer's light
where the daisy and celandine
litter the grass
and the house-martin flits
and turns as it wings
in the changeless blue.
Eigg. June,1995.
Any better title?
|