Hello Colin,
            Thanks for your comments. I had missed the repetition of `un...´ in the first stanza, thanks for pointing it out. Also for your other suggestions. The exact sense of my counterpoint seems to have puzzled several readers. I should say that I am no musician and used the word in a rather vague way perhaps. My idea was just that the two sequences of events - those concerning the statue and those concerning Mozart - could be presented as two melodies are in musical counterpoint and that this would be a way of highlighting the contrast.


Best wishes,   Mike



--- Alkuperäinen viesti ---
Mike,

I can follow each stanza easily but not sure how they all fit together into
an argument. However, I sense that there is an argument there, from the
title and the care with which the images have been approximated. I'm just
too much of a dunce to see it.

In the meantime, some suggestions re form, in caps below:

BW

Colin


----- Original Message -----
From: "Mike Horwood" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Thursday, March 20, 2003 8:42 AM
Subject: New sub: Counterpoint


Counterpoint

They say a statue of the Virgin Mary
wept blood the other day.
This event has unleashed
an unusual degree of unrest.NOT SURE WHAT TO SUGGEST INSTEAD BUT THE LAST
TWO LINES OF THIS STANZA SEEM AWKWARD. ALL THE "UN" SOUNDS SHOULD ADD UP TO
SOMETHING POETIC BUT IT COMES OUT MORE LIKE A TONGUE-TWISTER.

They say there is a room in Vienna
where Mozart worked,
untouched by daily concerns,
surrounded by domestic DELETE DOMESTIC muddle;
his chair, a table, a candlestick HIS CHAIR, A TABLE, HIS MOTHER'S
CANDLESTICK, LIT
that had belonged to his mother
in which a candle flickers,
and his wife, "as" DELETE "AS" enigmatic as
himself, while he arranges
piano fugues by Bach
for a string quartet,
his mind absorbed by the task
of making himself the perfect DELETE PERFECT vessel
to echo through the DELETE THE ages.

The clamour over the Virgin´s image
clatters through the day
amid speculation of jiggery-pokery.
But the papers carry a full account
a point that inspires no wonder, no hope, no comment.
Please make way for the Pope,
accompanied by the President.



Mike


 TO INCLUDE SOME FURTHER SPECULATION ON THE MEANING, IF THE MIDDLE STANZA
WERE NOT THERE, THE FIRST AND THIRD WOULD INDEED BE A COUNTERPOINT BETWEEN
WHAT MATTERS AND WHAT ONLY SEEMS TO MATTER (AND I THINK WE HAVE THE SAME
PERSPECTIVE ON THAT). IF THE FIRST STANZA WERE NOT THERE, DITTO, WITH A
DIFFERENT COUNTERPOINT. SO ARE YOU TRYING TO SET UP A SNAZZY THREE-WAY
PERSPECTIVE WITH DIFFERENT RESONACES BETWEEN THEM? -  THOUGH FROM WHAT
LITTLE I KNOW ABOUT MUSIC, THAT'S GOING BEYOND A FORMAL DEFINITION OF
COUNTERPOINT.