I like the form and the rhyming pattern.
kol tuv, Ryfkah
In a message dated 03.25.03 5:52:45 AM, [log in to unmask]
writes:
<<
the keep,
a curved stone tooth,
juts below a scumbled sweep
of oyster-grey and pearly blue.
Thunder shakes the eastern view
and wakes old lions from sleep.
In war, all truth
lies deep. >>
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