Thanks for the input; I appreciate your consideration.
kol tuv, Ryfkah
In a message dated 03.24.03 5:41:00 AM, [log in to unmask] writes:
<< Dear Ryfka,
I think the lines 'I remember the sea parting' and 'I think about Hitler'
deserve some space of their own. If you prefer not to use commas and
full-stops perhaps brackets would do the trick Also, if you will pardon me
saying, I don't think the children need to 'sing' as well as 'intone' in the
last 4 lines of the first long section. The repetition of 'they' adds to
that superfluity!
But I enjoy reading your poems for the Jewish take on Life, the Unverse and
Everything.
Thanks, I'm glad you're out there!
Trish >>
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