Hi David,
I like the first three stanzas here. They're very powerful, They remind me 
of Walt Whitman in what they say - but not in the rangy way he says it! 
Grin! (But Ol Walt wouldn't get into the procreation stuff I guess...).
I find the last stanza a bit of a cliche, tho. Perhaps, like Frank's 
suggesting, it needs more: needs to say something an unique as what's been 
said before... Or perhaps it isn't needed at all? I think, tho, it does need 
something: the phrase "we will hold on together" seems to make me ask "Hold 
on to what?" and the last stanza doesn't seem to answer that question in a 
way that satisfies the way the poem starts...
Bob






>From: "D.C Bursey" <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Philomena
>Date: Sat, 22 Mar 2003 21:34:13 -0330
>
>I talk with the wind,
>speak to the water,
>I sing to the land
>and scream at the sun.
>
>I want to live
>until my life is over
>then put back my dust
>from where it came.
>
>Give me your life
>we’ll make another.
>Give me your hand
>we will hold on together.
>
>Give me your love
>and I’ll love you
>in return.


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