Back again!
I had a bit of a problem with the sense of some of your lines here, Shah. I mean, the yellow leaves donīt actually colour the snow, they just lie on top of it. And itīs a bit unlikely that the leaves would still be falling if there is snow cover. It is possible, and it does happen here in Finland where I live, but when it happens the leaves that actually fall so late are dark brown, not yellow. Then again, why should red kites be reminiscent of the past? I canīt imagine how it would be possible for a pair of jeans to contemplat anything, nor how they could give rise to estrangement. All these things made this poem a bit difficult to accept as it stands. I hope this is some help.
Best wishes, Mike
--- Alkuperäinen viesti ---
The Rainbow
Yellow leaves
drop from a twig,
colouring the snow.
crimson kites
float in the sky,
reminiscent of a past.
blue jeans
contemplates in silence,
gestates estrangement.
primal prism
refracts the white,
universe is the rainbow.
--
c s shah
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