Dear Shah,
I enjoyed reading this.The poem has the feel of linked haiku, and I think
the slight quaintness of the diction adds to their atmosphere.
I would change the title, to indicate that they are linked, rather than
separate poems.
The bell tolling in the last strophe is particularly appropriate at present.
Kind regards,
grasshopper
----- Original Message -----
From: "c s shah" <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Wednesday, March 19, 2003 7:40 AM
Subject: [THE-WORKS] short poems
> Thanks Grassy,
> Address me as Shah.
>
> Short Poems 3
>
> did a swan fly by,
> that darkness appears
> a little less?
> *
> has an eye cried,
> that the load weighs
> a pound less?
> *
> did a bell toll,
> that feet rustle
> at a slower pace?
> *
>
> c s shah
>
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