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Subject:
Re: The Shifting Sand
From:
Sue Scalf <[log in to unmask]>
Reply-To:
The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Thu, 20 Mar 2003 15:07:47 EST
Content-Type:
text/plain
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text/plain (5 lines)
I like this, but I think you may be telling too much. As a suggestion think about transposing the first sentence to the very end. That way you would be withholding a little and putting more impact at the end. Anyway it is a thought. Sue
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