Welcome , Shah,
These are quite tight and evocative. I see no reason why they can not be
considered as one poem. Get rid of the little stars between strophes. If you
are going to punctuate I see no gain in not capitalising at the beginning of
a sentence. Nothing is lost by so doing and the mind is distracted if it is
not. Regards Arthur.
----- Original Message -----
From: "c s shah" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Wednesday, March 19, 2003 7:40 AM
Subject: short poems
> Thanks Grassy,
> Address me as Shah.
>
> Short Poems 3
>
> did a swan fly by,
> that darkness appears
> a little less?
> *
> has an eye cried,
> that the load weighs
> a pound less?
> *
> did a bell toll,
> that feet rustle
> at a slower pace?
> *
>
> c s shah
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