I've found this again and it exudes such tenderness, the kneeling,
smoothing, rocking and easing, the detail of scuffs and patterned soles, the
match of notch and arch etc.It brings back memories, though technically I do
recall rolling the socks back to get them ON, then UNrolling them over the
foot and heel.....
Who cares? Tenderly done!
Trish
----- Original Message -----
From: "Trish Harewood" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Friday, March 07, 2003 8:24 PM
Subject: Re: New sub: Think of feet, (new draft of 'Feet')
Dear Christina,
I like this very much though I agree with Gary on most points. There are
some extra words that would add force if they disappeared.
Best wishes,
Trish
----- Original Message -----
From: "Gary Blankenship" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Friday, March 07, 2003 4:07 PM
Subject: Re: New sub: Think of feet, (new draft of 'Feet')
Christina, some thoughts:
how the child would have sat when his mother unrolled socks,
knelt to pull them over his toes, smoothing the wool,
rocking his heels, easing them into shoes
and fastening buckles so they were just right. (no and)
A close up would show scuffs, patterned soles, (shows)
the notch that matched his arch.
There are sandals and boots, polished and dull,
the laces tugged tight or slack or threaded differently - (no
the)
you sense the ease or hurried struggle to tie knots. (no or)
I like the second version of the last best:
Feet are all that's left:
the shoes are the last witnesses of daily life, (no the and are and
no the below)
the final visible acts of love.
Thanks.
Gary
IF MY MAIL BOUNCES, MAIL [log in to unmask] AS AN ALTERNATIVE.....March
Margaret Hodge and Gary poems for kids at:
http://gardawg.homestead.com/gardawg.html --- Writer's Hood at
http://www.writershood.com/..... Poets for Peace.... ˇPoemas sí, balas no!
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