Christina, some thoughts:
how the child would have sat when his mother unrolled socks,
knelt to pull them over his toes, smoothing the wool,
rocking his heels, easing them into shoes
and fastening buckles so they were just right. (no and)
A close up would show scuffs, patterned soles, (shows)
the notch that matched his arch.
There are sandals and boots, polished and dull,
the laces tugged tight or slack or threaded differently - (no
the)
you sense the ease or hurried struggle to tie knots. (no or)
I like the second version of the last best:
Feet are all that's left:
the shoes are the last witnesses of daily life, (no the and are and
no the below)
the final visible acts of love.
Thanks.
Gary
IF MY MAIL BOUNCES, MAIL [log in to unmask] AS AN ALTERNATIVE.....March
Margaret Hodge and Gary poems for kids at:
http://gardawg.homestead.com/gardawg.html --- Writer's Hood at
http://www.writershood.com/..... Poets for Peace.... ˇPoemas sí, balas no!
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