Yes, will do soon. Possibly end of the week. Your suggestions for the poem
were excellent and I really was stuck for a title and hate calling something
"untitled" its seems such a cop out. So many thanks as I think I missed you
out of my round of thanks.



bw
James





>From: Rosalind Dooley <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: New sub: An Estuary Poem
>Date: Wed, 26 Feb 2003 06:32:30 -0800
>
>
>Hello James
>Must have deleted in error your response. Only, pleased that you like my
>title "Antipathy"....could you re-post your ammended poem
>Much appreciated
>Regards
>Rosalind.
>  Rosalind Dooley <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>Hello James:)
>I have not read your other poems, only recently joined this group.
>In the 2nd stanza you have'rooting' and then again 'root' in 3rd.
>Could this possibly be changed to 'foraging'
>I wasn't too keen on the 1st stanza,
>
>
>What can you do
>with a broken wing?
>You can still swim
>though also know
>this is it until you die
>
>up to here it is good, but then
>
>the next 2 lines do not sit right....not sure how to alter this...leave
>out...re write and
>
>of course, only my opinion:)
>
>with death not a concept
>I assume you understand
>
>But a very observant poem with the underlying tone of survival.
>
>As for the title......"Antipathy along the river'
>
>Cheers
>
>Rosalind
>
>  James Bell <[log in to unmask]> wrote: This actually has no title as
>yet, any suggestions welcome, though is one of
>my continuing series of river estuary poems. Its straight from the note
>book
>as they tend to be at this stage.
>
>--
>What can you do
>with a broken wing?
>You can still swim
>though also know
>this is it until you die
>with death not a concept
>I assume you understand
>
>Others of your kind
>have left you alone
>are all together in the flock
>over on the marsh grass
>sitting and standing or rooting
>about while you stand
>by the waterline with a useless wing
>then swim across the river
>as if for the comfort of water.
>
>You join a couple of strays
>on the other side
>root among seaweed - know you can
>must carry on to eat
>live a little longer
>though in the quietness
>of the river under winter sunlight
>the odds are stacking against
>survival beyo! nd today - maybe tomorrow
>
>
>
>bw
>James
>
>
>
>
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