Thanks for the suggestions, I'll take them under consideration.
T.

visit my web site: www.poetrylover.info


-----Original Message-----
From: The Pennine Poetry Works [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On
Behalf Of Colin dewar
Sent: Wednesday, February 26, 2003 9:34 PM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: New sub: So Much Water (and a funny coincidence)

Tammara,

I like the sounds in this poem. It reads well.

"torrent...........................from" are the weakest in my view.
"connundrum" is a puzzle isn't it?
"Where on earth has it come from..."           or
"............ is it from" sound preferable.

The ending is very strong.


Colin





----- Original Message -----
From: "tammara" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Monday, February 24, 2003 10:24 PM
Subject: New sub: So Much Water (and a funny coincidence)


> Hi everyone
> Isn't life funny? I wrote a new poem today about the enormous amount
of
> water that is flowing into lake Kinneret (since we've had 10 dry years
> everybody is very happy about the heavy rain we've been having for the
> past 2 weeks). Anyway, I wrote the poem in a fast rhythm, using many
> "ing"s and thought to submit it in a few days so as not to exhaust
your
> patience after the two I've already submitted today. Then I go to read
> my mail and Lo and Behold! Arthur has found a poem about water that is
> full of "ing"s! Even I dared not put so many in one poem, and here
comes
> this shameless guy who has exploited his thesaurus thoroughly and
piles
> them all together one on top of the other!
> So now I must submit otherwise you'll think I'm a copycat.
> Tammara
>
>
> So Much Water
>
> Water, water, more
> than a quarter
> of a million gallons
> skip and totter,
> bounce and glide in a wild
> torrent, turmoil and conundrum.
> Where on earth it's come from?
> Gushing, crushing
> rocks and trees
> with the breeze
> fly a misty cloud
> of hazy rainbows,
> clear and proud.
> I've never seen
> so much water, not since
> the great flood,
> he said with the nod
> of someone who's actually been there.
>
>
>
> visit my web site: www.poetrylover.info
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: The Pennine Poetry Works [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On
> Behalf Of arthur seeley
> Sent: Monday, February 24, 2003 7:08 PM
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: Just as a bit of fun ( ing words)
>
> This is part of a poem by Robert Southey " The Cataract at Lodore"
> Interesting that I had it as "How do the waters come down at Lahore" I
> wondered how I has got the name so far wrong and then find that in
James
> Joyce's Ulysses in the final chapter, Molly Bloom's monologue, there
is
> a
> quote in there where she is sat on the chamber pot 'how do the waters
> come
> down at Lahore'.
> I remember this poem from way back and I am always reminded of it when
> anyone complains about 'ing 'words. The lovely irony is that Gary B
> found
> the poem for me. LOL.Anyone concerned about copyright please note this
> is a
> part of the poem.
>
> The cataract strong
> Then plunges along,
> Striking and raging
>
> As if a war raging
> Its caverns and rocks among;
> Rising and leaping,
> Sinking and creeping,
> Swelling and sweeping,
> Showering and springing,
> Flying and flinging,
> Writhing and ringing,
> Eddying and whisking,
> Spouting and frisking,
> Turning and twisting,
> Around and around
> With endless rebound:
> Smiting and fighting,
> A sight to delight in;
> Confounding, astounding,
> Dizzying and deafening the ear with its sound.
>
> Collecting, projecting,
> Receding and speeding,
> And shocking and rocking,
> And darting and parting,
> And threading and spreading,
> And whizzing and hissing,
> And dripping and skipping,
> And hitting and splitting,
> And shining and twining,
> And rattling and battling,
> And shaking and quaking,
> And pouring and roaring,
> And waving and raving,
> And tossing and crossing,
> And flowing and going,
> And running and stunning,
> And foaming and roaming,
> And dinning and spinning,
> And dropping and hopping,
> And working and jerking,
> And guggling and struggling,
> And heaving and cleaving,
> And moaning and groaning;
>
> And glittering and frittering,
> And gathering and feathering,
> And whitening and brightening,
> And quivering and shivering,
> And hurrying and skurrying,
> And thundering and floundering;
>
> Dividing and gliding and sliding,
> And falling and brawling and sprawling,
> And driving and riving and striving,
> And sprinkling and twinkling and wrinkling,
> And sounding and bounding and rounding,
> And bubbling and troubling and doubling,
> And grumbling and rumbling and tumbling,
> And clattering and battering and shattering;
>
> Retreating and beating and meeting and sheeting,
> Delaying and straying and playing and spraying,
> Advancing and prancing and glancing and dancing,
> Recoiling, turmoiling and toiling and boiling,
> And gleaming and streaming and steaming and beaming,
> And rushing and flushing and brushing and gushing,
> And flapping and rapping and clapping and slapping,
> And curling and whirling and purling and twirling,
> And thumping and plumping and bumping and jumping,
> And dashing and flashing and splashing and clashing;
> And so never ending, but always descending,
> Sounds and motions for ever and ever are blending
> All at once and all o'er, with a mighty uproar, -
> And this way the water comes down at Lodore.
>