Hi Gary
Actually I wrote everything in the Present Progressive tense and only
afterwards changed it. You see the kind of influence you have on me?
Seriously now, in the poem that Arthur brought us, the "ing"s certainly
give a rapid rhythm but it starts getting on your nerves after a while.
Thanks for the comments.
Tammara
visit my web site: www.poetrylover.info
-----Original Message-----
From: The Pennine Poetry Works [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On
Behalf Of Gary Blankenship
Sent: Wednesday, February 26, 2003 8:38 PM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: New sub: So Much Water (and a funny coincidence)
Then I go to read my mail and Lo and Behold! Arthur has found a poem
about
water that is
full of "ing"s! Even I dared not put so many in one poem, and here comes
this shameless guy who has exploited his thesaurus thoroughly and piles
them all together one on top of the other! So now I must submit
otherwise
you'll think I'm a copycat.
Tammara
Tammara, good work. But I only see two. Did you rewrite to remove them
from
L4 and 5? BTW there I would take out the ands.
Thanks.
Gary
So Much Water
Water, water, more
than a quarter
of a million gallons
skip and totter,
bounce and glide in a wild
torrent, turmoil and conundrum.
Where on earth it's come from?
Gushing, crushing
rocks and trees
with the breeze
fly a misty cloud
of hazy rainbows,
clear and proud.
I've never seen
so much water, not since
the great flood,
he said with the nod
of someone who's actually been there.
Feb CE Chaffin, Celebrations and Blessings at:
http://gardawg.homestead.com/gardawg.html --- Writer's Hood at
http://www.writershood.com/... Poets for Peace.... ˇPoemas sí, balas no!
|