Shalom Ryfkah
I think you didn't understand what I was trying to say so I'll rephrase
it: in the biblical story Sara laughed in disbelief when she heard she
was going to be a mother at the age of 90, but in your poem everybody
else is laughing BUT Sara. Did you want that reversal of roles? And if
you did, why?
Tammara
visit my web site: www.poetrylover.info
-----Original Message-----
From: The Pennine Poetry Works [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On
Behalf Of Ryfkah *
Sent: Tuesday, February 18, 2003 6:23 AM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: For You Shall Be Blessed
Sarah laughed at the prospect of becoming a mother at 90. I just
thought of
her as laughing a lot through life.
kol tuv, Ryfkah
In a message dated 02.17.03 3:13:09 PM, [log in to unmask] writes:
<< Hi Ryfkah
I liked the poem very much, you manage to create the right atmosphere in
very few words. Just one thing: I understand the desire to have the word
"laughing" repeated as a chorus line but the problem is that it's not
clear who's laughing and why. Sara wasn't laughed at - on the contrary,
she was the lady of the house of Abraham, no one dared stand up to her.
But when you finish the first stanza with "all the women" and then comes
the word "laughing" it reads as if they were laughing at her which is
completely not true. The only laughing that was made was by Sara herself
as a reaction to the news of the angels, and that point isn't clear in
your poem.
Kol Tuv
Tammara >>
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