I feel that this is becoming lovelier, smoother, gradually
S2, though, could you not keep the stanza form of 1&2? The hate/gate rhyme
is a bit clashing - and, though fitting with the meaning, feels a bit much.
Terri )O(
-----Original Message-----
From: The Pennine Poetry Works [mailto:[log in to unmask]]On
Behalf Of D.C Bursey
Sent: 19 February 2003 21:16
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Well of souls is full(rewrite)
Fall's moon, wears a foreboding ring,
casts silver light upon the rim,
of a dark pool so perfectly round
reflections are lost within.
A pool with liquid layers of man
filled to the brim with war and hate,
blackness seeps down to rust hell's gate.
One lone juniper stands ready,
under a mountain's watchful face,
to catch the lost innocents
before they sink and fade.
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