I think this piece has great potential Colin. Can't help much with 
specifics, but good work, I think.

Cheers,

Frank



The Tales of Faust poetry page can be found at: 
http://www.tales-of-faust.com/

>
>The Taking of Dengi.
>
>
>I have been taken along by Apaches.
>A dry landscape.
>Just a few wisps of grass and scattered flowers.
>We walk miles through the quiet hills
>until we overlook a valley
>with a road and men on guard.
>The assault begins:
>"Allah Ouarkbah",
>as they surface on the skyline and show their guns.
>Then the flash of rockets launching,
>a rushing sound,
>the puff of dust in the valley,
>the returning thud,
>and the soldiers of the holy struggle
>dodge down to capture the road.
>
>I see only sky, ground and people,
>but the battle proceeds.
>Grasshopper and butterfly
>I thought would be startled,
>but they dance and chatter
>as fizzing bullets invisibly pass.
>One man is pulverised
>as a rocket explodes.
>Another loses his leg to a mine
>and is carried by friends.
>Others hit by shrapnel touch their wounds.
>
>The dead go to no grave yard,
>but lie under flags,
>banners that float in the wind.
>They have gone to milk and honey,
>to endless women.
>The land is injured,
>needs time to heal.
>Bomb craters fill with water,
>reeds and tadpoles appear,
>where orphans find faces mirrored
>in infinite blue,
>look to the sky
>and wonder in silence.
>
>
>Afghanistan.      September 89.
>
>__________________________________________________
>
>1.Clarity check. What am I going on about with these two lines:
>"I see only sky, ground and people,
>but the battle proceeds."?
>I don't need to be stupidly clear. I just want to work out where I am on 
>the
>clarity/ obscurity spectrum with this ref.
>
>2. Accuracy check. Does anyone know if the Muslim heaven has a surfeit of
>virgins? I had it from one of these Muj guys that it does, and took it at
>face value, but am sceptical in retrospect and want collateral info. After
>all he was trying to make me a Muslim and had just explained that in the
>afterlife I would have rivers of milk and honey and I'd just replied that I
>had a whole jar in the cupboard at home and could get all the milk I 
>needed,
>that I didn't long for more and then he brought in the bit about the 
>endless
>young women. It could be that he made it up just to get the better of me. 
>He
>had an incentive. However it made its way into this poem and I wouldn't 
>want
>to misrepresent any group as a result. I could just ask Muslims that I meet
>here, but it's an awkward thing to bring up. Does anyone know, off hand? 
>How
>interested am I in the answer? I can't tell you that.


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