o zefrl
vat iu rit iz tru
zei spek lik zat alredi
From: "seiferle" <[log in to unmask]>
> A morning laugh, and apologies if anyone has already seen this.
>
> Best,
>
> Rebecca
> www.thedrunkenboat.com
>
> Great Idea...
>
> The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been
> reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European
> communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
>
> As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English
> spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased
> plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).
>
> In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c."
>
> Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard
> "c" will be replaced with "k." Not only will this klear up konfusion, but
> typewriters kan have one fewer letter. There will be growing publik
> enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced
> by "f." This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.
>
> In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
> to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
>
> Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always
> ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible
mesof
> silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.
>
> By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
> "th" by "z" and "w" by " v."
>
> During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining
> "ou," and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of
> leters. After ze fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil
> be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand
ech ozer.
>
> Ze drem vil finali kum tru.
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