I found this quote, which I thought was quite apt, though they neglected to
state the author:
"Marriage is less the unimpeded coming together of true minds than the final
acceptance of the individual's complete surrender to co-dependency and thus
the inevitable abjection and alienation from the self. Marriage does not
just 'reflect' the structures within society, it is the very seed of
society's ability to disseminate and reproduce itself. Marriage is a worm, a
virus."
- Anton Brassiere
>From: Ken Wolman <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: Poetryetc provides a venue for a dialogue relating to poetry and
> poetics <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: Snapshot 9/24/03 choice/consent
>Date: Thu, 25 Sep 2003 12:44:09 -0400
>
>Deborah Russell wrote:
>
> > No one can honestly say they "knew what they were getting into", unless
>they
> > kept
> > their fingers crossed. Even in long term relationships, once married,
>you
> > discover
> > how impractical and undependable your perspectives were and are.
>
>Another (unnecessary?) bit of autobio. I was a lapsed Jew who became a
>terrible
>Catholic who has recently reaffirmed by commitment to the Jewish faith into
>which I was born. Some people find religion utterly irrelevant: I find it
>central to figuring out who I am, a task that may take me to somewhere
>beyond
>the grave. In any case, during my six-year run with the Catholic Church I
>had a
>Jesuit spiritual director who suggested I should really obtain a Church
>annulment of my marriage, if for no other reason than to give me some sort
>of
>closure. "What am I going to claim for grounds after 28 years and two
>children,
>non-consummation?" I asked.
>
>He asked me "How old were you when you got married?"
>
>"I'd just turned 25. She was still 24."
>
>"How did you feel about her?"
>
>"We were mad about each other."
>
>"Did you understand the meaning of the commitment? Did you understand how
>love
>changes over time and that you would have to readjust constantly to
>maintain
>both love and commitment?"
>
>"I understood nothing. Neither of us did. No counseling, no Jewish
>version of
>pre-Cana, nothing."
>
>"There you are," the priest said. "Ignorance of the meaning of marriage.
>Your
>grounds."
>
>Fr. Hallinan was a pretty sharp guy but I didn't do it anyway.
>
> > I gave up the term "a good marriage" except for practical application.
>
>Even marriages made in Heaven work themselves out on earth and, without
>tending,
>they can go from there straight to Hell.
>
>Ken
>--
>Kenneth Wolman
>Proposal Development Department
>Room SW334
>Sarnoff Corporation
>609-734-2538
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