The idiot's guide to Gulf War II.
Weapons of Mass Destruction:- Any nuclear, chemical, or
biological weapon possessed by a non-OECD state.
Weapons of Mass Distraction:- Political spin, 'burying news on a
bad day', any other subversion of democracy, - see 'Regime
Change'.
Regime Change:- What we do if you have a leader we don't like,
after we have called her/him undemocratic of course (unless the
'undemocracy' involves dodgy chads in Florida).
Saudi Iranaqistan:- A very dodgy country somwehere between
Israel and India, which the USA plans to attack soon because of 9-
11.
Citizenship-Shift:- A similar concept to 'shape-shifting' in western
mythology, in which a human changes shape to e.g. a werewolf.
However under Citizenship-Shift it is an outside agency who does
the shifting. What you do if your prime enemy inconveniently
comes from a country whose regime you don't want to change.
See Oil and Regime Change.
Sand:- a gritty form of silicon dioxide, discoloured by iron
compounds. Found over much of the Earth's surface, but little-
known to US military scientists working in green well-watered
campuses in fertile states like Nevada. Tends to clog up delicate
military equipment as used by Western states against Saudi
Iranaqistan.
Oil:- major Western missile attractor, or deflector, depending on
which regime sits several miles above it. Its price may rise by a few
dollars a barrel if the USA attacks Saudi Iranaqistan, giving the UK
government a good way to hide a tax rise on petrol of a few dollars
a litre.
Britain:- a slighter larger than average US navy aircraft carrier
permanently moored off the coast of Belgium. Useful for Regime
Change in Saudi Iranaqistan.
Religion:- A set of mind-beliefs held by many to be the cause of
most wars. Especially if its the wrong religion. The next thing to be
targetted by the US/UN after Iranaqistan has been dealt with, to
ensure World Peace, Universal Macdonalds Provision, a smooth
and level playing field for western multinationals etc. Derives from
the Latin 're-ligio', to tie back, return to origins; incompatible with
the onward march of capitalism. Problems/contradictions of the
Protestant Work Ethic, Christmas card manufacturers, etc to be
dealt with later still.
Wheelie-Bins:- Large green plastic objects used as rubbish
receptacles by many UK households. Do not, under any
circumstances, load these to the brim between May and
September, especially if your household also has copies of the
Koran, Djellabas, etc. Or else you may be accused of
harbouring A Summer Bin Laden.
Hillary Shaw, P/G Geography, University of Leeds
Traditional sayings of the P'nstrae-P'sutid tribe (3)
Too many cooks spoil the restuarant profits. Too few
accountants cook the books. Many hands make high wage bill.
Many unemployed hands make lower Minimum Wage.
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