Thanks, Bob,
I wondered about its being a short story.
I also wondered much about the line-breaks. Like you
I could see them in all kinds of places on different
readings.
I don't see myself as a series writer. Think one has
a whole bag-ful of different questions. (Why is this
in the same mix as that? Are these styres compatible/
jarring. Dunno.)
Thankyou for your committed reading.
Glad Leeds impressed you.
cheers, cara
--- Bob Cooper <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> I don’t know how to cope with this as a poem cara.
> (But read on quickly! I
> don't want that to sound damming!!)
> I read it through and enjoy the subtlety of the line
> breaks in one reading.
> Then I read it through again and want to change,
> change, and change! (And, I
> think, make different changes every time!!)
> That seems to say, to me, that it may need drastic
> changes to its shape! (I
> mean, because it’s so dependent on narrative, is it
> actually a short story?)
> (Or is it a prose poem?) (Does it need lines that
> have some kind of
> equalising standard imposed on them – syllabic,
> subtle rhyme (not
> necessarily end-line rhyme); a pattern of repeated
> stresses). I don’t know
> what to think...
> And I sense the ending isn’t (yet) as it should be.
> Could it be that it may only find it’s ending, and
> even its final form, when
> it finds some friends? When it fits, say, alongside
> other pieces featuring
> either Laura (or someone else like Laura) or
> (someone like) this grieving
> widow. Poems can sometimes stand well on their own
> (and that’s often how we
> try to write them) but sometimes they need others to
> sing with. Will this
> find its voice if/when it becomes part of a choir,
> maybe it’s not just a
> solo singer?
> Tomorrow, tho, I may see more... I may change my
> mind yet again!
> Bob
>
> P.S. I was in Leeds a few weeks ago myself! Hey, it
> isn't the City I knew
> in the 60s! It all felt expensively strange...
>
>
>
> >From: cara may <[log in to unmask]>
> >Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works
> <[log in to unmask]>
> >To: [log in to unmask]
> >Subject: New Sub: In the Victoria Quarter
> >Date: Fri, 22 Feb 2002 14:24:24 +0000
> >
> >-- In the Victoria Quarter
> >
> >
> >
> > The ceiling, reputed to be
> > the largest stained-glass ceiling in Europe;
> > the sculptured bench, stapled to the
> > mosaic floor;
> > Laura, knees together,
> > elbows close to her ribs,
> > eating her vegan
> > sandwich;
> > next to her the woman,
> > with the scarf, hat
> > jacket, shoes,
> > disjointed statements
> > of former fashion;
> >
> > the woman edging slightly
> > closer;
> > Laura brushing crumbs
> > from her lap;
> > the woman speaking
> > as though she has
> > never been silent;
> > 'I am a widow,' she says,
> > 'I came from Athens
> > forty years ago
> > and now
> > I am a widow.
> > When my husband was alive
> >
> > we had friends,
> > made merry.
> > Now I am a widow
> > they no longer come
> > to my house.
> > I do not understand
> > In Greece it is not so:
> > women, those who are widows,
> > are cared for
> > not left alone.
> > I am a neglected widow,
> > in England.'
> > The brown age-spots
> > stand proud on her face and hands.
> >
> > Laura folds the paper bag
> > to trap the rest of the crumbs.
> > 'Perhaps,' she says 'they are
> > embarrassed.'
> > 'Perhaps,' she says, 'they do
> > not like to intrude.'
> > 'Perhaps,' she says, 'they are
> > waiting for you
> > to make the first move.'
> > The widow pleats her lip,
> > pinches the fabric of her skirt,
> > does not agree.
> >
> > 'I'm sorry. I must go,' says Laura.
> > 'I have an appointment.'
> >
> > This happens to be true though
> > each of them is uneasy
> > that it had to be said.
> >
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