Hi grasshopper,
A fine lament! Yet the phrase “I think” shows an unexpected perspective that
the poet’s occupying – that contrasts to the exotic images that follow the
words. I also recognise the last stanza’s “I know” – present tense! – sounds
so powerful (and so contrasting - a classy grasshopper device, a fine
paradox! - to the final couplet).
I was a little surprised to SEE that one stanza was a line short! Aurally I
couldn’t notice that as much. But I keep looking and seeing the shorter
stanza! And, technically again, the end-of-stanza-(couplet)rhymes work well
in strengthening the poem. (Though is the inversion of the words “pulse
suspended” – 1st stanza – really needed?)
I don’t know about the title... (great heart / brave-heart isn’t a helpful
thought, but I thought it when I first read the piece!). Is it a poem that
may discover its own title over time?
And the phrase “a fading of peacock falls and flowers” puzzles me.
But still a fine read!!
Bob
>From: grasshopper <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: New Sub: Great heart (typo corrected)
>Date: Fri, 22 Feb 2002 01:59:34 -0000
>
>Apologies, sent this off with a typo....
>
>
> Great heart
>
>When your great heart
>ceased beating, I think
>there was a silence
>in the sky, an long echo
>of the pulse suspended,
>and then a circled sigh
>of termination from
>the stars and spheres.
>
>When your great heart
>ceased beating, I think
>there was a shadow
>in the spectrum, a fading
>of peacock falls and flowers,
>a dimming of all colours
>as if nature's palette
>ran with sullen tears
>
>When your great heart
>ceased beating, I think
>there was a fragrance
>in the air, of precious attar
>burning, of frankincense
>and rosewood fuming
>from a pyre of dreams.
>
>When your great heart
>ceased beating, I know
>there was an emptiness.
>A grey and sudden chamber
>opened in the tower
>with a sampler spelling
>Nothing is as certain
>as it seems.
>
> grasshopper
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