Hi Rhyfkah,
I like the way you have formed the hell section here. The only concern would
be that some of the other line endings seem a little arbitrary and the poem
would be more effective if this was looked at. Example: "receive a/rose to
tango".
bw
James
>From: Ryfkah * <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: New Sub.: 4tete/#68/Carpe Noche
>Date: Sat, 16 Feb 2002 12:45:54 EST
>
>4tete/#68/Carpe Noche
>
>Renascent
>rescued from marriage by
>divorce she unpuckers rouged
>mouth to receive a
>rose to tango
>Extreme unction
>patchouli oil rubbed in
>to limbs nipples throat
>cadre of existence
>
>He briefcases to office
>Surrogate wife silently mouths good
>bye No dogs no cats
>their pirate parrot Petey patters
> go to hell
>go to
> hell go
>to
> h
> e
> l
> l
>
>Mary go
>round refracts
>undulates cheek
>to cheek with Afro-
>Latin impresario
>Poncho Sanchez giving up
>the beat
>Vampires other night owls
>slink in rhythm
>like Eve's serpent the whine
>of July fireworks the priestly
>blessing on Yom Kippur
>asparagus in spring
>
>She dances in astral sky
>a bat bird plane
>flying fish
> a woman
>
>not an angel
>
>Ryfkah 2/16/02
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