on 1/1/02 11:01 pm, Brigid Anthony at [log in to unmask] wrote:
> I like the way you define an extraordinary event by contrast with ordinary,
> everyday things.
> I don't think the second stanza adds anything, and suggest you scrap it.
> You might look to sharpen the last three lines of S1, as they're not up to
> the standard of the rest of the stanza.
> Regards,
> David
That's interesting, because I put the second stanza on so I wouldn't have to
define the event in the title, as I thought that would spoil the effect.
I'll think about that. thanks for comment. Sally-ee.
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