sally-ee: what's " Real poetry"??
----- Original Message -----
From: "Sally Evans" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Sunday, February 10, 2002 4:05 PM
Subject: Re: New Sub: Grey imp
> on 6/2/02 10:29 pm, grasshopper at [log in to unmask]
> wrote:
>
>
> I like this, grasshopper, it's got an old fashioned music which I think is
a
> good thing, like real poetry. And there's an impression that you've gone
> with the words, there's no prosaic logic to it, but what is the grey imp?
Is
> this something you are asking your readers?
>
> I wonder if 'quench him with my tears' is a little bit facile, the easy
> option? I think you could keep tears as the end rhyme yet be a bit more
> specific about this relationship between you and the grey imp; don't
follow
> your oldfashioned poetics with an old fashioned cliche, 'quench'. ?
> Sally-ee
>
> > The grey imp on my shoulder
> > is full of winter things
> > Sometimes he is like a stone
> > and sometimes he grows wings
> >
> > The grey imp on my shoulder
> > may jump into your lap
> > He'll stain your skin and clothing
> > he's such a sticky chap
> >
> > The grey imp on my shoulder
> > has been with me for years
> > I feed him on my sorrow
> > and quench him with my tears.
> >
> > grasshopper
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