on 6/2/02 10:29 pm, grasshopper at [log in to unmask]
wrote:
I like this, grasshopper, it's got an old fashioned music which I think is a
good thing, like real poetry. And there's an impression that you've gone
with the words, there's no prosaic logic to it, but what is the grey imp? Is
this something you are asking your readers?
I wonder if 'quench him with my tears' is a little bit facile, the easy
option? I think you could keep tears as the end rhyme yet be a bit more
specific about this relationship between you and the grey imp; don't follow
your oldfashioned poetics with an old fashioned cliche, 'quench'. ?
Sally-ee
> The grey imp on my shoulder
> is full of winter things
> Sometimes he is like a stone
> and sometimes he grows wings
>
> The grey imp on my shoulder
> may jump into your lap
> He'll stain your skin and clothing
> he's such a sticky chap
>
> The grey imp on my shoulder
> has been with me for years
> I feed him on my sorrow
> and quench him with my tears.
>
> grasshopper
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