Love the looms Gary, but I think it would work swell without the
repetition too.
Mary, looming large is a joke among us. I would likely remove otherwise.
*
James, see Mary (g)
*
Do you really need the first verse, tho? The business of the poem starts in
the 2nd stanza.
And, in the UK at least, the word "lumber" isn't too complimentary (and
sounds worse,
Bob, I saw the first as the set up to start us through the night. Maybe not
or?
Lumber: Yep, I tried to mitigate it with the line before, the lightest
touch.
I did not get a chance to read this at the workshop thanks to gout, but hope
to in two weeks.
Thanks all for the read.
Gary
BTW, for reasons I can not understand PK will not take my hotmail address
anymore. I'm trying to fix but if someone would drop a note there to say I
will be back to comment on the comments to my poem there, I would appreciate
it.
g
Feb guest is TE Ballard and Gar does garbage at:
http://gardawg.homestead.com/gardawg.html,
Poets for Peace. ˇPoemas sí, balas no!
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