Hi christina,
I like this poem and how, like Carol Ann Duffy's STANDINF FEMALE NUDE poem
it approaches subjects from the side.
And, with the poem starting with the phrase "When I remember" I sense the
story I'm getting isn't all that could be said by her (but, it's enough for
this poem!).
The line "thin fags, damp Rizlas, mumble..." (should it be mumbled? past
tense??) - does anyone who uses Rizlas - for tobacco - and not roll them
thin? I'm wondering if a word could be ommitted, maybe two words about
something else added to add more information into the line... Just a
thought...
The three four-line stanzas and then the last line is something Duffy seemed
to do a lot as well. (And I like it here because it's a run on line, not a
closing, isolated, comment!)
And the title (for me) is brilliant! The movement colours everything, and
the word LARGE is so (well) large...
Bob
>From: Christina Fletcher <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Sub: Large Nude Walking
>Date: Sat, 26 Jan 2002 11:06:50 EST
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> Large Nude Walking
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> When I remember, I want to work as you did -
> long days, until the light's gone. Then slugs of gin
> to quench our silence, to twist an arm
> to pose for one more year, then another;
>
> to cover felt-tipped pen marks on flesh
> with plasters to keep them fresh, to measure
> and check and check and check and check again.
> This is the picture in my memory: you,
>
> thin fags, damp Rizlas, mumble
> 'A fraction to the left, a fraction more.'
> The scent of turps and farts mingled with linseed
> and stiff, salty coffee. My skin a mass
>
> of marked goose pimples. The odd grunt, 'Yes...'
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>christina fletcher
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