Dear Philip,
   I'm not sure how the introduction should be read in terms of the poem as
a whole,(perhaps this is a dlitch in layout) or of the title -as the
narrator of the poem seems to be speaking of the effects of the storm, From
the diction, I presume the narrator is a contemporary of the event, but the
line :
My grandfather sits and cannot absorb.
sounds too modern to me- but, of course,I could be wrong.
The last line seems too truncated to me, especially in terms of Elizabethan
speech:
like a basking hippocampus, died.
The hippocampus suggests something in its element- so perhaps a conjunction
is needed,- died' isn't a natural outcome of the sentence,I felt. Also this
trimming of conjunctions is very much a feature of a modern voice, and more
specifically, a modern poetic voice, and sits oddly with the use of unusual
words current in those times.
Kind regards,
 grasshopper


----- Original Message -----
From: "Philip Burton" <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Friday, December 20, 2002 7:17 PM
Subject: new submission: Before the Storm


            Before The Storm


a perfectly ordinary August 1588 storm sank a Spanish Armada whose seafarers
were unversed in the rough ways of the North Atlantic. The same equinoctial
tempest swept away all last traces of the Lancashire village of Singleton.

The Nereids wept at Queen Mary's death
and the Rossall coast was weal
but they shook their spurs at Elizabeth
and saltmarsh took the field.
                             No more
the springing spikes of barley, rye, and oat.
Neptune wets the wattle, sucks the daub -
our cottage swims like a breached boat.
My grandfather sits and cannot absorb.

Only Penny Stone Inn near Carlon -
the dozing megalith, her Colts Ring
and the hollow-eyed oaks of Singleton
stand proud.
                   I saw a kale wagon swing
like a galleass, sink under the mere,
drown father and son, and dogs beside.
And the good horse, breaking traces, reared
like a basking hippocampus, died.






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